Disabled punk band PKN representing Finland at the Eurovision Song Contest 2015

Even though this blog is targeted mainly towards people with physical disabilities, today I will make an exception and write about an event which caught my eye recently and made me extremely happy: the Finnish punk band Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (English: Pertti Kurikka's Name Day), also known as PKN was chosen to participate at the Eurovision music contest, in May.

So now you will wonder, what’s so special about this band and what does it have to do with my blog? The members all have the Down’s Syndrome – a genetic disorder typically associated with intellectual disability. And it is the first time this happens at Eurovision, which means one step forward to acceptance and support for people with disabilities worldwide. 

They are famously known for being the main focus of the Finnish documentary film The Punk Syndrome. In 2015, they qualified for the finals of Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu, which they later won, and now finally they will be part of a major European Music contest - Eurovision! They write their own lyrics and perform often live on the stage. 

These guys are a reminder that it doesn’t matter what you’re being told about stereotypes and how “generally” you will have to fight your way through life having a disability. They achieved much more than most of the non-disabled people, while doing something they clearly enjoy doing. 

So this year, I know who I’m voting for. Not out of sympathy, but the truth is I really do like these guys! The last time I voted for these guys was in 2006, when Lordi won. As you probably realized already, I love rock and punk music and Finland delivers once more. Thank you, Finland and thank you PKN for being awesome and showing the world that disability means nothing when your only wish is to conquer the world! I really hope you guys win, you deserve it!

Disability and Relationships

Everyone needs and wants to be loved. It’s natural and beautiful. And we all fall for someone sooner or later, it just depends on the reciprocation of the feelings.

One thing which annoys me greatly is when I hear some says that if you have a disability, you are destined to be alone for the rest of your life. That is bullshit! It’s rude, wrong and mean. And the funniest thing is that once I’ve been told this exact same thing by someone who ended up having a horrific love life while mine has been pretty decent up to this age. Now, if you have a disability and have the same state of mind as I mentioned before, this is a really bad thing and it won’t bring you anything good. You have the right to love and be loved as much as any other able bodied person. Now, let’s get some things straight.

A bad attitude is worse than having a disability

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes your failure when you are looking for a partner doesn’t come from your physical issues but from the way you’re handling it emotionally. Don’t start a conversation with endless complaints about your condition. Don’t try to make yourself look “special” or “different”, since this can be quite offputting and intimidate your date, who might have second thoughts on how to handle this from an emotional point of view to meet your needs. And don’t bomb your date with explanations on how your condition is affecting you from the first minutes, unless he asks. However, if things are moving in the right direction, it is very important to have a serious discussion and make sure your date understands fully what your challenges are. If they are really into you, they won’t go back on it so don’t be scared.

It’s not all about a flawless body

If a guy/girl is interested only in his partner’s looks, we’re either talking about a teenager or someone who really doesn’t want to grow up. A relationship is much more than sex, and it involves communication, finding common hobbies, long deep conversations, laughing at eachother’s jokes, sharing similar views and more. Attraction is important, but sometimes the things that make you worth thinking of will be the things you say and do.

No one is perfect

Never ever think that you are flawed because of your disability. Just because your imperfection is visible, it doesn’t mean it’s a lot greater than someone else’s “invisible” flaw. Some people are jealous, others are constantly nagging, some suffer from personality disorders which affect their everyday life, but when you fall in love with someone, none of these things matter anymore. So why would a wheelchair matter? Because you sometimes need help getting around or completing everyday tasks? It’s no different than helping your partner doing the dishes, offering emotional support when they’re down or offering to help them with small things around the house. A relationship means being there for eachother for good and for bad.

These are just a few small things I felt like throwing out there for the people who are afraid of dating. I’ve been in 3 long term relationships so far (currently on my 3rd), which sadly ended both because of our young age and some issues which were totally unrelated to my disability. Those were some valuable learning experiences though, so no hard feelings.

I will come back soon with a post on sexuality, but my time is short right now, and that will be a more lengthy post than this one.

Accessible traveling - Basic tips

Photo taken from www.toskana.net

Traveling is a thing which everyone loves and enjoys to the fullest whenever they can, but it can sometimes be a hassle for someone with reduced mobility. Sadly, lots of places have limited accessibility and you can find yourself wasting your time trying to find solutions rather than enjoying the surroundings. So many people simply abandon the thought of a fun holiday away from their home, simply because planning it ahead seems too complicated. But in reality, it’s not so bad! After living on my own in a foreign country and traveling on my own around Europe, I’ve learned some tips to make everything smooth and easy.

1. Plan your route

No matter what the means of transport of choice is (unless it’s a car), make sure the country you are planning to visit has accessible public transport, or if it is limited to certain routes, make sure you plan it according to those routes. To give an example, in Brussels there were only 2 Bus lines which were fully accessible so it would have been a good idea to plan the sightseeing and the accommodation as close as possible to one of the bus stations provided. Also, you might need to require assistance 24 hours in advance for other means of transport such as trains and boats, so they know and install a ramp or whatever it is necessary to make your trip smooth and worryless. This is usually easily done through phone or on their websites.

2. Accomodation

Keep in mind that not all hotels have rooms designed to host a person with disabilities, while others might have stairs and no elevators. The same goes for hostels. There are various websites which can help you choose the perfect hotel for your staying. For Europe, I found Disabled Holiday Directory to be very useful. And I’ve made a quick research for US too, and found Hotels.doc which basically has a filtering option for a variety of accessibility options. Call the hotel in advance and ask to be sure, since sometimes their understanding of accessibility might be a little different from your actual needs, which can become inconvenient. Accessible accommodation is extremely important, to make sure you get enough rest to be able to enjoy the holiday to the fullest!

3. Accessible tourist attractions

For each country and city, you can easily find online a list of fun places to visit which are fully tailored to meet any difficulties you might have with accessibility. Usually, most museums have ramps and elevators, but if you are thinking of visiting old castles or natural attractions, you might want to check beforehand. Check their website or give them a call.

If you are planning to visit places in Europe, please be aware of the fact that some of the old cities, like Rome and Brussels are covered in cobblestone, which can make for a bumpy ride for wheelchair users or make it very easy to trip for someone who has trouble walking unassisted. There are maps and directions online, for the routes with “new” paths, so you can avoid those places or at least be aware of what you are going to encounter.

All in all, just buy a map, mark the places you want to visit and make a route. Try to stick to it as much as possible, and everything should be alright. Or if you are a fan of adventure, just go with the flow! Just make sure you don’t end up stuck or not being able to see much. It depends a lot on the country too, since some are 80% accessible, and others need a lot of planning. But as I said, research it well before leaving and have fun!

There are just a few tips for a smooth and pleasant holiday planning while dealing with physical impairment. I am soon planning on making a detailed guide for traveling in Brussels and Amsterdam, since those are my favorite Europe destinations that I have visited. Hopefully, there will be London and Paris coming up this year! I just need to visit them first.

For any questions or if you want to add anything, don’t hesitate to comment to this post, message me, or contact me through the Facebook Page. I will do my best to research with you and helping however I can.