Job interviews and disability

First of all, I would like to apologize for the long hiatus. Today's post is related to the reason for which I've been absent from posting for such a long time. I just didn't have any more free time and I really like to take my time and put all of my ideas in order when I write a post, so it's easy and enjoyable to read for everyone. So why have I been absent? I got a job!!! A full time awesome job which makes me feel complete.

But before getting the job (which is within a huge IT corporation), I faced many many interviews which ended with "Thank you for coming, we will call you soon to give you an answer." I found out that it can be pretty tricky to get a job as someone who has a physical disability even though my resume was flawless, I studied abroad and I had strong knowledge in my field. Everything seemed to be against me. But with every interview, I learned what I should say and not say when confronted about my condition... because most of the interviewers did ask me questions. They're not asking to be impolite or curious, but it's important to know if a future employee will be suitable for the position in every possible way, from a HR point of view. And there are some things which must be kept in mind:

1. Be confident 

 Don't freak out when they ask about your condition/wheelchair. Calmly explain that it will not get in the way of your daily activity and that it does not affect your productivity. If they see you that you're nervous, they might think that you are trying to make it seem as something that it's not, and it will make you look like someone who easily lose their calm. Smile, keep your head up and calmly answer all of their questions BUT don't go overboard: keep it real. Don't tell them that you can do things that you can not actually do on your own, because the lie will surface sooner or later and it will come back to get you. But since you're there, it would make sense that you know exactly what you will be dealing with day by day and that you know that you can handle everything.

2. Don't act defensive 

 I know lots of people get offended when asked about their condition. Remember that the employer must know for sure that they are hiring people who can do the job. Not everyone knows exactly what you can do and what you can not do only by looking at you. Issues such as moving around the office, commuting to/from work or going to the bathroom (which if you can not handle on your own I believe that you can have your personal assistant help you with, but it depends on the country and company).

3. Focus on your skills

If you were invited to the interview then you should have the necessary skills for the job and what you should do is present those skills the best you can. Make your value as an employer shine, and most interviewers won't even care anymore about your condition. A valuable set of skills is so important these days! And nothing else will matter...


And with these being said, good luck! Don't lose hope if you don't get a job on the first try, it took me 1 full year. Keep trying and trying and you will not regret it. Believe in yourself and everyone else will do too!

Disabled punk band PKN representing Finland at the Eurovision Song Contest 2015

Even though this blog is targeted mainly towards people with physical disabilities, today I will make an exception and write about an event which caught my eye recently and made me extremely happy: the Finnish punk band Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (English: Pertti Kurikka's Name Day), also known as PKN was chosen to participate at the Eurovision music contest, in May.

So now you will wonder, what’s so special about this band and what does it have to do with my blog? The members all have the Down’s Syndrome – a genetic disorder typically associated with intellectual disability. And it is the first time this happens at Eurovision, which means one step forward to acceptance and support for people with disabilities worldwide. 

They are famously known for being the main focus of the Finnish documentary film The Punk Syndrome. In 2015, they qualified for the finals of Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu, which they later won, and now finally they will be part of a major European Music contest - Eurovision! They write their own lyrics and perform often live on the stage. 

These guys are a reminder that it doesn’t matter what you’re being told about stereotypes and how “generally” you will have to fight your way through life having a disability. They achieved much more than most of the non-disabled people, while doing something they clearly enjoy doing. 

So this year, I know who I’m voting for. Not out of sympathy, but the truth is I really do like these guys! The last time I voted for these guys was in 2006, when Lordi won. As you probably realized already, I love rock and punk music and Finland delivers once more. Thank you, Finland and thank you PKN for being awesome and showing the world that disability means nothing when your only wish is to conquer the world! I really hope you guys win, you deserve it!

Disability and Relationships

Everyone needs and wants to be loved. It’s natural and beautiful. And we all fall for someone sooner or later, it just depends on the reciprocation of the feelings.

One thing which annoys me greatly is when I hear some says that if you have a disability, you are destined to be alone for the rest of your life. That is bullshit! It’s rude, wrong and mean. And the funniest thing is that once I’ve been told this exact same thing by someone who ended up having a horrific love life while mine has been pretty decent up to this age. Now, if you have a disability and have the same state of mind as I mentioned before, this is a really bad thing and it won’t bring you anything good. You have the right to love and be loved as much as any other able bodied person. Now, let’s get some things straight.

A bad attitude is worse than having a disability

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes your failure when you are looking for a partner doesn’t come from your physical issues but from the way you’re handling it emotionally. Don’t start a conversation with endless complaints about your condition. Don’t try to make yourself look “special” or “different”, since this can be quite offputting and intimidate your date, who might have second thoughts on how to handle this from an emotional point of view to meet your needs. And don’t bomb your date with explanations on how your condition is affecting you from the first minutes, unless he asks. However, if things are moving in the right direction, it is very important to have a serious discussion and make sure your date understands fully what your challenges are. If they are really into you, they won’t go back on it so don’t be scared.

It’s not all about a flawless body

If a guy/girl is interested only in his partner’s looks, we’re either talking about a teenager or someone who really doesn’t want to grow up. A relationship is much more than sex, and it involves communication, finding common hobbies, long deep conversations, laughing at eachother’s jokes, sharing similar views and more. Attraction is important, but sometimes the things that make you worth thinking of will be the things you say and do.

No one is perfect

Never ever think that you are flawed because of your disability. Just because your imperfection is visible, it doesn’t mean it’s a lot greater than someone else’s “invisible” flaw. Some people are jealous, others are constantly nagging, some suffer from personality disorders which affect their everyday life, but when you fall in love with someone, none of these things matter anymore. So why would a wheelchair matter? Because you sometimes need help getting around or completing everyday tasks? It’s no different than helping your partner doing the dishes, offering emotional support when they’re down or offering to help them with small things around the house. A relationship means being there for eachother for good and for bad.

These are just a few small things I felt like throwing out there for the people who are afraid of dating. I’ve been in 3 long term relationships so far (currently on my 3rd), which sadly ended both because of our young age and some issues which were totally unrelated to my disability. Those were some valuable learning experiences though, so no hard feelings.

I will come back soon with a post on sexuality, but my time is short right now, and that will be a more lengthy post than this one.

5 Disability Support and Motivation Blogs

Over the past few days, I immersed myself into the big world of Blogging, trying to select 5 of the ones I like the most to share with you guys. Some have very valuable day by day information regarding living with a disability, others are just stories depicting the lives of people who chose to live their life to the fullest, despite dealing with a disability - which is what my blog is trying to motivate all of you wonderful people reading my blog. So, to a few examples of helpful websites and blogs:

Disability Horizons
Facebook Page

This magazine is the UK’s fastest growing disability lifestyle publication. Started in the summer of 2011 by two disabled entrepreneurs, Disability Horizons now has a rapidly growing monthly web audience of 25.000 people. The most important thing about this magazine is that it is entirely sourced from its reader community. The main goal of its content is to motivate people with disabilities to live exactly as they choose, which is also what my blog is all about. Their categories feature subjects such as: Entertainment, Lifestyle, News &Views, Relationships & Sex, Sport, Technology, Travel and Work&Education. Highly recommended!

Off the Wall Disability and Disabled Blog
Twitter

A group of disabled people in the UK who also run the famous www.ableize.com (the UK’s largest and busiest disability resource) created this blog to share everything related to disability and mobility which could be of high interest for the people who are dealing with these issues. There is a bit of everything for everyone from daily living aids to shopping sites, both on the website and on the blog and most of it is targeted to everyone and not just UK citizens. Community of this kind are very important, so we can all support eachother and share the things which truly matter.

Disabilities Unlimited
Facebook

I chose this blog because it was created by a person who is also trying to make the best of of his life despite the challenges he faces every day. I was surprised to learn that he was also born with Arthrogryposis, which is quite a rare condition. But I guess it is somehow in our blood to keep going and try to reach the sky, right? Bill Micklitz is also a Speaker/Consultant contantly helping employers to see the real value of hiring people with disabilities and encouraging them to bring diversity into their business. “Very educational, amusing, and lots of laughs.” is a quote which made me check out more of his stuff and I’m sure it will be helpful for you too!

Disability Thinking
Facebook Page

This Blog is owned by Andrew Pulrang, another wonderful person who decided to break all barriers and live the life he wanted to live even though he is also dealing with Arthrogryposis. Just like my blog and the others I have presented here, the whole content is written in a positive, uplifting way, but without forgetting to talk about the real life as we all face it every day. I really love his style and I recommend his blog to everyone who is reading my blog!

Hedgehog Blog
Facebook Page

A beautiful 32 years old mom who has been dealing with Cerebral Palsy since birth, chose to show the world bits of her happy family life. Scrolling through her posts always puts a smile on my face, she really does seem happy and she is a clear example that having a disability should never keep you back from having the life you want, get married, have kids and enjoy every second of it to the fullest.

If any of the blog owners mentioned here see this post, I want to thank you for being awesome and show the world that disability can't take away your right of living a free and full life!